Secrets of My Success: Failure is Not an Option. (It is Mandatory!)
Posted: Thursday, October 28, 2010
by Bruce Horst
WryteStuff
Have you ever seen one of those ads on the Internet that starts out something like "I just made $1,234,567 in only 3 weeks!"? Chances are that you clicked on at least one of those ads, too!
There are many reasons why these promises of fortune never work out. One of those reasons is because of the basic principle that a person can not succeed spectacularly if that person never fails spectacularly. This is where I'd like to start with my success stories.
Frankly I'm not comfortable talking about my successes in life. To me it's like leaving the casino bragging that I've won $500 on the craps table, knowing that I've lost $1,000 on roulette the night before. If I only told you about the wins, you would think I was the luckiest man alive. If I only told you about about the losses, you'd probably start avoiding me because you'd never want to be associated with such a loser.
I do feel pretty lucky, but I'm more comfortable talking about my losses. I think more people can relate to the losses and while it's not as attractive as making "$1,234,567 in only 3 weeks!" it's closer to the reality that we all know.
I grew up in an sheltered religious environment, so it's been a struggle for me to be 'wise in the ways of the world.' I'm pretty dyslexic, so I never went to college. I barely made it out of high school. To some extent, I've always figured I'd have to be self-employed because no one would hire me.
I used to number my business ideas until sometime in early 2000 I went over 100 and lost count. Most of these ideas never got off the ground.
There was a time in my life where I felt like I needed to have a business partner to run a business. I gave my first business partner 35% of my business in exchange for him putting door hangers on peoples' doors, advertising our business. About a month later, after not attracting many customers, I discovered that he was taking the door hangers and throwing them in the trash so that I wouldn't see that he wasn't distributing them. Ugh!
"...at some point, you start to see life as a game of cards. Sometimes you're dealt a bad hand, and the only thing you can do is play your hand masterfully and take pride in that, even though it ultimately ends up as a losing hand."
I was smart enough to mandate that all our business checks over $50 required two signatures. When my partner wouldn't let me see the books, I went to the bank where they showed me all the checks my partner had written for personal items, each just under $50. Ugh again!
In hindsight I realize that I had been taken advantage of because I have this personality flaw that makes me want to have close friendships. I figured that if I had a business partner who was working side by side with me, then he would be a close friend. I have wasted a lot of my life on such fallacies.
Somewhere in there I started an electronics repair shop. Working with electronics always came natural to me, so it seemed like the logical choice. My first year in business was great. That was when some VCR's cost over $2,000. I became very efficient at repairing electronics and even wrote software to help small repair shops like mine diagnose repairs and share tips.
My competitors were closing down, but in my brilliance I decided that this meant if I outlasted my competitors, I could take their customers. I had underestimated the importance of the fact that VCR's were becoming cheaper and cheaper. Every year my shop fixed twice as many units as the year before, but every year I made less money than the previous year.
"You may have failed, but you are not a failure."
This was an excruciating time for me. Jean and I racked up a mountain of debt because we just wouldn't give up. Most of our friends had grown tired of our financial problems and started to avoid us. After 10 years I finally got the picture and I closed the shop without any idea what I'd do next.I could recount the emotional stress that this took on me, but it wouldn't be pretty. I think my exact circumstances were pretty unique, but many of us have been there under different circumstances.
Things like failed relationships, children who don't live up to standards, bad judgement calls, financial failures, moral failures. They can all lead to isolation and a feeling of hopelessness. For some reason, it's hard for us as humans to detach our failures from our feelings of self-worth. The fact remains that we can't really succeed until we've really failed. I doubt that we'd even know what success looked like if we never failed.
If you are overcome by failure at this point in your life, this is my encouragement to you: Get with people who let you talk about your failures without judging you. You may have failed, but you're not a failure.
Not to overuse the gambling analogy, at some point, you start to see life as a game of cards. Sometimes you're dealt a bad hand, and the only thing you can do is play your hand masterfully and take pride in that, even though it ultimately ends up as a losing hand. There will be more hands dealt, and some of those you will win.
Understanding this really does open up the possibilities for your success. Understanding this could be the first step to your first million dollars.
(This story is continued here.)
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More commentsHI Bruce, thank you for sharing your beginning. It encourages so many of us to keep moving toward our goals. Because you did not give up, and because you have an amazing wife who walked through the muck with you, God blessed you. Your gusto has paved the way for thousands. Some make search warp their home for personal therapy and bless others, and others have had waves of opportunity to move forward - Thank you both for not giving up on your dreams, but mostly for not giving up on each other. I miss you guys, but at the same time, it is because of you guys that my time is limited. At least temporarily. Big hugs! TThanks, T. I have really been blessed with a great wife, she's my partner in every sense of the word. We miss you too!
This was a wonderfully written article Bruce. It was like talking with a friend, very honest and sincere. I look forward to the next article in the series. I think you have a great deal of knowledge to share and I think it will benefit many people. Thank you. P.S. I suffer from the same personality flaw. :)Thanks Brianna. I wish my words would flow as easy as they do for you!I think we share yet another personality flaw Bruce. Your words DO flow easily, from the reader's viewpoint. YOU just don't realize it! :)
"I doubt that we'd even know what success looked like if we never failed." This is so true :)
Thank you for sharing the story, no one should hide the back of the card.Thanks HyunSoung. I've never heard the expression "no one should hide the back of the card." Interesting!
Enjoyed your article and honesty--please keep writing and make it a series. Thanks.
Thanks Steve, I'm enjoying this so hopefully I can find the time to continue. And give me a call the next time one of the guests on your show backs out!
Thomas Alva Edison "failed" every day as he told it. That way he knew when he got something right. However, his greatest failure was to give Lewis H. Latimore credit for the filament that made the light bulb burn.
No one does anything great alone, along the way, others were there in some part.
Sometimes "success" in the eyes of the world isn't reality - we need those failures to help us learn and grow - glad you posted this one Bruce.
Bruce, I wouldn't even know where to start something like SW. But, I guess that's OK because I really like the job I have now!
Bruce, Great article :)If you are 'pretty dyslexic', then I must congratulate you on a very well written article.Your comments about you must have tasted failure before you can understand what success is, are very true.Take a look at the oil exploration guys, real experts in their field, but do they hit oil every time they drill? No.Do they stop looking? NoThey keep on trying and so should we 'failures'.
BruceThank you. I gave a lecture recently and started out with how many failures and horrific things happened in my life. The other so called "motivational" speakers were looking at me in horror. How could I reveal these terrible things. I used a similar analogy to your " I doubt that we'd even know what success looked like if we never failed." Although not as eloquent (so I may just have to steal that - grins).mwah (my wishes are heartfelt)
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