Pig in the City
Posted: Tuesday, November 29, 2011
by Bruce Horst
WryteStuff
Even when Jean and I first started having kids, we thought it was important to maintain our 'date night' once or twice a month.
When Zach was 2 we had one of these date nights and when we returned to our apartment at about 11:00 PM, Jean said she'd take the babysitter home because I was very tired. I had already fallen asleep when I heard Jean screaming, "Bruce, you have to come here to see this!"
I put my clothes back on and walked down the stairs to find Jean and some other guy looking at a small pig in the parking lot.
We were living in San Antonio, Texas, the 10th largest city in the United States. We purposefully left the farm years earlier, but here was a pig in middle of our parking lot!
Not really knowing what to do, I decided to chase the pig (I was probably not fully awake.) After chasing the pig around the corner of the apartment building, I finally had it cornered. With nothing else to do I picked it up.
If you've ever tried to pick up a pig, you've probably experienced this. They don't go quietly.
This little pig started squealing. It squealed long and loud. I remember thinking that this pig squealing sounded like a woman was being murdered. I looked at Jean and the other guy as if they knew what I should do, but they didn't.
After walking a few feet, I had enough of the squealing and I put the pig down. It ran back around to the front of the building where something even more unbelievable happened.
A man in Dickie pants and knee-high rubbers (boots) appeared. Not really knowing how to respond, I asked him, "is this your pig?" He never acknowledged me, but instead pointed his finger at the pig and said, "Where have you been? I can't turn my back on you for a minute without you wandering off." He then turned and started walking away, and I swear the pig put his nose down as if he was feeling ashamed and he followed this guy.
The young man walked to a pickup truck, which I recall looking like a '49 Chevy which was also completely out of place (this would have been 1992.) Then he opened the door and the pig jumped in!
This whole experience was completely bizarre. Did it really happen? I saw it with my own eyes, but when we told our friends about the ordeal, we were met with understandable disbelief.
About 6 months later Jean and I went to the apartment complex pool with Zach. As we arrived, we saw another young couple there. When the man in this couple saw us, he screamed, "There they are, that's them!" He told his wife that we were the two who also witnessed the pig in the city that night. He said to us, "Tell her it's true! Tell her about the pig! She doesn't believe me!"
We told her, but I still don't think she believed us.
This is one of the first of about 500 family stories I promised my kids I'd write down sometime.
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More commentsBruce, I love it!
I had an encounter with an armadillo at 3a in our family forest. No witnesses except my Black Lab who never learned to talk. ;-).
All I told believed it was another yarn spun because my kin are great story tellers.
This is entertaining and something your children will be glad you wrote down. Such a good idea - to write down these stories.
Very good Bruce. But you should held on to that pig, ignoring those squeals. Nothing can sound as if they are being killed as can a pig or hog. You might have received a good ransom if you had taken him in.
Funny story Bruce thanks or sharing
Hi Bruce.
Five hundred? Keep 'em comin'! This was great. Are you sure you aren't pulling our collective leg? :) And aren't you glad you got back out of bed to see it?
Thanks for the fun!
Hugs,
Dianne
Gonna hold you to the promise to your kids. I know the feeling you get. Much of my family stories are very meaningful to me. Good job.
:) :) :) A story to tell indeed. I loved it. Now, I am going to pass it on when I am at another speaking engagement. Very humorous!
Thanks
I swear it's all true!
Then there's the one about the peacock appearing in the backyard and the other one about the neighbor's potbelly pig coming in the dog door, and the one about the slug in your shoe at 5 am, and the one... oh well, it's too long a list for here.
It's one big adventure! Love you, Babe!
My ribald experiences over the years with pigs, force me to state that they are far smarter than dogs; they quickly learn how to open gates and doors that impede them, an ability beyond most dogs.
They quickly acquire a fuller understanding of our language where dogs recall isolated spoken 'trigger' words.
Unfortunately, most pig owners do not know that pigs lack sweat glands and require a shallow pool to bask and reside in.
Deprived of water to wallow in by ignorant owners, in desperation , they wallow in their own urine and wet feces to cool off and thus the smelly, stinky reputation.
Given a small water wallow they remain as clean and fragrant as a rose.
Amongst farm animals, their intelligence is unsurpassed.
I have often surmised that pigs surely have penned parts of the Bible; they have convinced the fundamentally religious, half of the World, not to eat them!
.
Much affection,
Paul
Bruce,
That's hilarious! Great tale. Hope you didn't make it up. Would make a great cartoon if you have the creativity or connections. Loved it.
The only pig related story I have is my sister's piglet in Simsbury, CT that got loose. A little pink wiener that squealed in high soprano and ran willy nilly out the barn, through my legs, wriggling and sniggling to evade my grasp. My nephew grasped him and put him back in his sty. I don't know how he did it. He knows pig behavior better than I and perhaps had a relationship with it like the man in Dickie pants and rubber boots. I'll never know. Good Story Bruce!
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